E-X-H-A-U-S-T-I-O-N

People frequently make the statement "it feels like it should be Friday"...

I'm sure I've said it but I couldn't have meant it as much as I do today. It's only Tuesday and I've spent 3 hours this week playing moderator to screaming families. On Monday evening I went to a families' home for a meeting. Before I even entered the house the mother and daughter were screaming at each other and the mom was telling her 13 year old daughter to get out of her house. The situation was not cured by the time I left, however everyone was calm and I didn't think they'd attack each other (for the moment)...

This morning at work I spent hours typing up the report from last night so I could give CPS a detailed narrative; then as everyone who has had to report someone to CPS knows, the process took hours.

Needless to say I was not on my a-game at work today.
I met with 2 semi-functioning families and then headed off to visit the last family of the day.

Once I sat down on the couch it was "everyone talk at once" time. The father and mother YELLING about how their teenage daughter didn't bring them her report card. After about an hour of refereeing the yelling, the family (I'm assuming got tired) and started speaking in only semi-raised voices. When I tried to talk to the father about he and his daughter respecting each other he looked at me like I had gone mad, "I don't have to talk nicely to her, she needs to do what she is told!".
My only reply to this was "Well if you want to keep doing what you've been doing and you're happy with how things are then I don't need to be here. This is the only way I know to make things better; if you really want things different, this is what I got."
I think he was rather stunned at my response... but maybe (hopefully) he really thought about what he had said before.

I don't know that I can handle these parents, I agree that they have difficult children; but when you stop and listen to what they are saying it doesn't take much to fulfill what they are asking.

"I just want my mom to stop calling me names"

"I just want Dad to not put me down all the time"

"I lay in bed at night thinking of all the things he's said to me throughout the day, you're so stupid, why can't you just behave, you sure do forget a lot, you always make stupid mistakes, you'll never learn, will you.

"I wish Mom would just ask me how my day was instead of screaming at me to make my bed."

"He just doesn't know what its like... and if I tell him that he yells and says he does."

"You heard her, she doesn't care, she wants me outta her house."

"Teacher says I'm the worst kid he's ever seen. I tell him, how can I do good at school when my home is like this? Then he says that I'm the one who causes the problems in my house, and if I'd just be good everything would be fine."

"I wish Dad would sit down and talk with me and not just yell about the bad stuff."

"Why even try to do anything right, they don't notice unless its something bad."

"You heard him, he's tried every way to get rid of me. Now he's just stuck with me."

While in college I always said that I wanted to help those that really needed help, not just the rich kids. Well I know that I am truly helping the people that need help--- but oh my goodness I did not know what I was asking for. I don't really know what I need, but I need something. Some kind of divine intervention.

Its beginning to feel a lot like....ummm

At this time of year nothing gives me more pleasure than decorating the house, popping in a ol' Christmas favorite and turning those holiday hits up~

However this weekend was out of the ordinary- I was having a low weekend and thought "I know what will cheer me up"... So I busted out the decorations, and turned on Home Alone--- Several hours of sorting out lights and looking at ornaments and my mood was still gray. I finished up some minimalistic decorating and turned on the movie ELF (This movie always makes me laugh). But this gray was holding on like a bargain shopping to a last clearance item. So I settled down to be content in the mood that wouldn't budge.

Its not the waste of a Saturday that really bothers me but how what use to make me happy doesn't anymore. It is just another confirmation of how I've changed and need to move on with my life. Its scary, exciting, and sad. I just pray that I can be content for the time I am in this place and trust that God has the next chapter ready for me!