Thunder

I am beginning the “sorting process” that comes before a move…
“Do I really need this? Haven’t ever used that, etc…“
I don’t seem to have trouble going through my closet or getting rid of old purse or shoes… ...

...However it is those little pieces of paper that I hold onto for dear life. Those remnants of the past, those pieces of past relationships. From a guy’s phone number to a dear letter from an old friend. I have found tons and tons of this stuff. While going down memory lane can be enjoyable, some of the old things I find hurt my heart.

1. Old emails from friends who no longer speak to me.
2. Notes from dear loved ones who are as constant as the mountains & show me the character of God.
3. Letters and emails from friends whom I haven’t kept in contact with.
4. Letters I’ve written and never sent.
5. Pictures of random things that make me smile.

There was something I noticed in this array of mementos...
It seemed that I was always “busy” or things were “chaotic” and while this is true of the years 2002-present. How sad is that that the “youth” of my life I’ve felt burned and overwhelmed.

So this is not a “new years resolution” but a new “life phase resolution”. I cannot change what has happened to me, who has hurt me or the number of hours I work in a week…

But this “Identity” of this busy person is not someone I am called to be! I am called by my father to be a support and strength to those around me, in his name.
Somewhere over the years I’ve lost sight of that design. It slipped in through with “taco-soup nights in the apartment” or numerous late night talks during my college life, but I want to change it from “slipping in” to a purposeful life stance.

Lord you know what I can handle and
oh, how I love you for that.
Please place me in your plan and in your peace!

As I write this the sound of thunder rattles my windows. The sound can make me shutter, but most of the time I feel comfort as I feel God’s power and I feel safe knowing that’s my Papa.

grad school

So I have a lot to say and I really want to blog, but grad school won't let me... It's always like "write this paper, go to this class, lead this group...blah, blah, blah.... Talk about a nag!




sorry just needed to vent a bit :)

24th birthday

So birthday 24 came and went...
There was the good- the great and the slimy...

Saturday night a good friend of mine turned 21 so we sang, danced and laughed the night away!

Sunday I just chilled, I had some fun messin with my fish tank and watched a movie or two---

Monday (birthday) I had to be at work at 630am but that was ok. My RCH kids were so sweet and wanted to sing to me every other minute... One of my teens even said "be nice to her, its miss megan's birthday!" But my birthday or not its still a psychiatric hospital and craziness will always be in the air :) ...Multiple restraints, got spit on and even had a fire extinguisher thrown at me! (dam fire code)...
After work I got to have a couple drinks with the therapists and some other co-workers.
To follow drinks me and my roomies finished the night off with eating dinner at bonzi garden (Japanese steak house)
So 24 doesn't seems to be off to an ok start--- Lets see how it goes ;)

birthday

It's my birthday week... I'm not much for birthdays cause i tend to have high expectations, then things go wrong. So my goal this year is to relax and have a breezy attitude about the whole thing. Well my week officially started last night when one of my friends brought me a cookie cake to class :) ---Class was a bit more pleasant and it made my day. So thanks to Mari for a great start to the week!

The Rest is Downhill...

Spring break is over and only 7 more weeks, then finals!
I am so ready for a break but the thought of completing all the papers and projects in less than 2 months---eek!
This weekend is my b-day- plus a couple of good friend's birthdays too!
Next weekend is Bekah's b-day and we're going to Abilene to camp for Friday night then Sunday is the Children Advocacy Center's Picnic in the Park---
And to top it all off the following weekend is Easter and I'm going home for 5 days!
---So although I'm excited it feels like time is going against me ----

Spring Break

Spring Break 2009
My sis came down to visit me this weekend... We watched movies, went to a play at ASU, played scrabble :), lounged about, talked forever and chilled
This weekend really felt like spring break, however tomorrow it starts....
I have so much to do this break its a little overwhelming. An online exam to take, a research paper that really needs to be written and a book review that I have no idea how to write. Ugh Grad School is ruining my life! ---just kidding, but yeah it is :(

Life at a place most unusual

Working at a psychiatric hospital is never boring। Once you walk through those hospital doors there’s no going back! You never know if it’ll be a great therapeutic day or utter chaos. When job hazards include being bitten, scratched, kicked, hit or even peed on you might consider these deterrents. But it just makes me love these kids more… I feel an ounce of what it must be like to be a parent. They are screaming “I hate you!” when you’re giving them a consequence and “I love you miss megan” an hour later!

I’ve heard unimaginable language come out of the most precious mouths. It’s strange that when a six year old screams “you’re a stupid head!” it is such a sweet-innocent sound…and to hear such a thing can almost bring tears to my eyes, or at least a smile to my face.
From kids that have no family to kids whose families drive them nuts, we all come to this mutual understanding of life(or at least “life at Rivercrest“)... We form roles in this strange place, roles of mothers, sisters, brothers, friends, and confidants. It is difficult to discourage the dating scene cause evidently hooking up at a mental hospital is appealing to some…

What truly keeps me coming back is the realization that me spending just a few minutes truly caring for these kids could change the way they see the world!-!-!
Wow, now thats responsibility... My job makes me completely and utterly exhausted, most of the time profoundly annoyed and always entirely spent... But I keep coming back everyday for all those reasons, all those -short, tall, thin, thick, light, dark, funny, scared, loving, sad, mad, confused, caring, troubled little children and adolescent reasons...